RANSVESTIA

and those aren't feminine at all; they're just like the ones I wore as a man."

"They are the ones that you wore as a man," Janet said. "But let's see if these others fit you."

She reached into the closet and pulled out a pair of high-heeled wedgey, strap shoes. They looked much nicer; they were still in fashion, and they would add to the femininity of my costume. I slipped them on and buckled the strap around my nylon-clad ankles. Then I stood up and stamped, which was more the way a man tries on shoes than women; I'd have to remember that. The shoes did seem to fit, though.

Janet checked me out once more, her hands on her hips, and then nodded with satisfaction. "That'll do for a beginning," she said. "Now look at yourself in the mirror."

My experience with the high heels during our waltz enabled me to walk steadily across the room toward Janet as she obligingly opened the closet door, which had a full-length mirror attached to the inside. I posed in front of it, and almost jumped. I was a girl to all outward appearances, not a boy dressed in a skirt, and I wasn't a fat girl either. My hair had an attractive wave to it, and my earrings glinted against the background that it supplied as it fell to my shoulders. I had a round, pretty face, and my eyes shone with excitement, em- phasized by the cosmetics that I wore. I ran my tongue over my red line to make them glisten more. My dress fitted nicely with the puffy sleeves emphasizing my girlishness and the fabric switching back and forth as I stepped to check one angle and then another. My legs arched beautifully, held up by the highness of my wedgies and high- lighted by my hose.

Standing beside me, Janet smiled and nodded. "You look lovely," she said.

Right then, Carla was born, and I knew that I would never have to go back to being Carl, who forced himself to do things beyond his strength. I approved of my new image and role; it would work out, and I could lead a new life, following my own gentler inclinations, without fear, and without the struggle to live up to my own over- drawn expectations.

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